I've realized that when I talk about dissociating, I can really be
talking about a number of different experiences. So I decided to
categorize and define some of the versions I talk about most often. This
is just my experience, not universal; some aren't even necessarily
clinically dissociating at all, but, to me at least, have some kind of
resemblance.
*Meditative *
This one resembles what some people call productive meditation. I
experience it most often when I go on my morning walk, adding a
repetitive, moving element. It's not necessarily bad, and I
purposefully invoke it for a reason. But, it's like a form of
dissociation to me because it can be very consuming and kind of hard to
snap out of. Using the same ritual every morning helps me ease in and
out of it at that time, but it can also happen—purposefully or
not—at other times. I keep my route very simple, on small streets, and
the same every day, because I can get pretty lost in my head for this,
which is dangerous in other areas. It usually looks like I'm a little
lost in thought, though it's more like diving into an internal world
entirely. It usually involves decision making, planning, or problem
solving, whether it's what I want to work on that day, what my next
larger goal should be, or what I should do about (or if I should do
something about) a problem. Ends more smoothly if I'm done thinking on
the topic and have written down any takeaways for later, otherwise I
remain very consumed by finishing my loose ends, or keeping track of
those takeaways.
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